Category Archives: Parenting

The Effects of Parental Absence

You’ll come at some point that you have to burn time at work reading news and current events especially during after hours. And two months ago, it wasn’t a different story but the one that I’ve read was extraordinary yet a common scenario. It is actually happening to so many families when they opted to work abroad hoping to find a greener future in order to send their kids to school or support their family and have at least lived a descent life.

The article that I’ve read, entitled “Tough on the child, tougher on the mother” was all about a family who by circumstances was forced to live separately with their kids because of government rules and or they are not earning that much to reach the stipulated ceiling of that government rule. And according to that article, “many expatriate women are forced to be absentee mothers out of necessity” and many are living away from their children for a long time not merely by choice but dictated by life’s circumstances that is way beyond their control, at least most of the situation.

It was indeed a hard truth that there’s nothing else that they can do and are forced to make sacrifices for their future. But another hard truth, if not more, is the fact that some kids find it hard to understand what their parents are doing considering that it typically does not only involve physical separation alone but also emotional comfort and social presence. So most of the time many parents are left praying and hoping that their children one day will understand that what they are doing is for them so they can go to school and have a better life.

Yet the process of parental separation remains a very hard truth to accept and understand especially when you are pressed by force of circumstances knowing that infants develop attachment to adults at a young age who became consistent caregivers to them. And the effects of parental absence at a young age can be devastating and cruel not only to the child but to parents as well.

Image from Repost from hubby’s blog.

The Hardheaded Toddler

It’s been almost three months now since our son started schooling and so far he is enjoying his time at school as it was reflected on the comments of his teacher in his school diary. And there have been also improvements in his behavior as he learns to say “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome”. Although it is still very hard to keep him still in one place, in fact, his teacher even said that our son don’t seems to know how to walk as he is always running in the classroom. And the only thing that really needs a change is his being a hard headed toddler.

Until now, I still have to repeatedly tell him what I want him to do before he will follow my instructions. That is the aspect in his attitude that needs some drastic improvement since it’s been causing me some stress already especially during meal time. He is just a very stubborn child and very hard to handle and that he won’t listen to me to the point that I have to raise my voice before he will comply and follow what I wanted. In fact, there have been several times already that I am so irritated of him that I am no longer raising my voice but yell on him instead.

Riding in the School Bus

The first two weeks of our son’s school went by so fast and as you have known it already, he is still quite very active. And with that, he became popular to his teachers. But popular in a different way though. His name is always the mouth of his teachers as they try to pacify him to follow instructions and most importantly listen to them when instructed to do so.

The second week in school was different as it starts at eight in the morning and will end at 11:30. They now have three hours and a half but we still have to drop them off and pick up outside the classroom. Lucky for hubby his duty at work is not affected by our son’s timetable at school and hopefully by the third week the school bus is available. Though at the same time I am also uncomfortable letting him ride in the bus not for safety reason but because he is so active and is running all the time.

On the other hand, there was a parent meeting on the fourth day before the week ends which I have attended while hubby is watching over our son. So far, I still can’t see any big improvement in our son’s behavior as he still not listening to me though he knows now how to say please every time he needs something. And perhaps the only thing that I saw differently from him is that he now learns to share his toys with others but not all the time yet.

While the third week starts with him riding the school bus for the first time. And I am just glad that he rode in the school bus without any problem at all and he even likes it. He even told his father with so much interest that he is riding in the school bus in going to school and coming back home. Then he’ll run towards the window every time he hears the horn of the bus and you’ll see the excitement on his face. I’m sure he is enjoying his time riding in the school bus.

Our Son Goes to School

September was really a testing day for me and it does show and reflects on the number of posts I have written then. I in fact have to joggle from the daily household chores to the new online store that I’m working out and with the new school boy that we have. That’s right, our son just started going to nursery last 15 September and I think he has enjoyed it especially that he has now exposed to many children in their classroom. Unlike before when he is only confined to the four walls of the house from daybreak to sunset but there are several reasons why he has to endure that.

At the same time as well, I am still apprehensive as he doesn’t listen to me most of the time and if you are following this blog, you’ll know how hyper-active he is too. And that is exactly what I have seen on him in his first three days at school. At first he is hesitant to let go of me and was hiding at my back just like what he did during the home visit of his teachers in the house. He did not even interact with his teacher even there were so many toys that they brought in order to entice him to play and actively engage so they can assess him. At least that’s how I understood the home visit.

And that perhaps needs another space for a blog post to make. So going back to our son’s first week in school, he just stood behind me but once he saw the toys in the classroom, things went so fast differently. It seems that he forgot that we are around watching him as he is quite very busy playing with lots of toys that he can play with. And after the class was finished (it is just for one hour) comes another issue that we have to deal with because he don’t want to go home anymore.

Our Son’s First Week in School

After the home visit of our son’s teachers last week together with the parents’ interview, they have given us the schedule for the first week of our son’s school timings. They explained that the first week is only an hour of interaction and getting to know how the kids will react when they are eventually left alone in the classroom with only the teachers around. They are going to gradually make the kids comfortable in the classroom and then the parents will slowly leave them as the week progress.

On the first day, they have allowed the parents to be on the side of their kids wherever they want to roam around the classroom and our son initially was just hiding at my back when we went inside the room. And once he saw the toys, lots of them in fact, things turn in a different direction as he started to enjoy the company of the other kids but then again my apprehension starts kicking back too. He’s not listening again and never stays at one location.

And the second day was totally different at all since he immediately plays around the classroom with lots of enthusiasm, I guess. Or perhaps he was just overwhelmed by the sudden changes in his daily routine as he interacts and plays with kids of his age. This time though, parents were separated in the adjacent room while the children are busy with their activities. The third day was no different as we just spent it filling out some forms at the adjacent room.

While the last two days of the week, we just dropped our son outside their classroom and we are glad that we don’t have any problem with him with regards to it but a few of his classmates are still crying when they are left behind by their parents. The common thing that happens in our son’s first week in school is that, he no longer wants to go home even when the class is finished.